As I read again from the top, I realized how ‘rojak’/disorganized my thoughts were. But I am leaving it as it is…cluttered heart=cluttered thoughts.
Sometimes I don’t want to talk to anyone but You because
I don’t know what to say anymore but You already knew?
Sometimes talking to anyone is pointless not because
they can’t help but I quit listening?
Sometimes it is better to just let things be instead of solving?
Sometimes in trying to solve, matters turned out worst?
Sometimes matters are not meant to be solved and left hanging?
What am I to do?
What should I do?
What can I do?, other than look to You?
Wait on You?
Lean not on my own understanding?
Am I looking to You hiding behind a closet?
Do I have the patient to practice patience even when given to me?
Will I ever understand unless my heart’s uncluttered?
Will I ever feel that I am living a life worthy of You?
Will I ever?
How will it be out there?
Will I ever find fulfillment I had out there?
Will I be prepared for whatever that comes out there?
Will pride once again rear its ugly head to destroy when out there?
Will history repeats itself out there?
Will anything ever get back to normal?
Where is the peace that has been eluding for sometime now?
Where is the hope that I have been clinging to?
I have been looking at the wrong places?
My eyes and heart too cluttered to see or feel them?
If there are lessons to learn, have I learned?
Have I not learned for the umpteenth times to lay down my baggage of burdens at the foot of the cross?
After all, the empty cross is there to prove that You are alive
Your nail-pierced hands holding out to the world and holding on to me
Your gentle voice calling “come to Me those who are heavy laden, I will give you rest”
Help me Father, I need to unclutter my heart and head.